Zergrinch

Personally, I'd rather use my wardrobe to teleport to fantasy lands

Nonsense. We always know that when someone is inexplicably transported to another world and gain powers, they will quickly ascend the ranks of power

And also: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ChangelingFantasy

Nonsense. We always know that when someone is inexplicably transported to another world and gain powers, they will quickly ascend the ranks of power

And also: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ChangelingFantasy

Interesting.  so ML is an Elven Druid and LM is a Human Ranger...  Let us see how this story develops.
 
And because I am OCD:
 
he felt something like a "tag" like vertigo.  <-- did you mean "tug"?

We'll have to wait and see. As I've told Kyle Aarons a while back, I'm horrible at subtlety, you have to whack me upside the head with something, figuratively speaking. Which was kind of what you did ~~~

Original (100 words) The harsh wind howls through the devastated dwarven settlement of Gast, mercilessly scattering dust and leaves past the unmoving half-elf lying in a pool of blood, the body showing signs of massive damage: a dozen arrows sticking out from his chest, back, and thighs, his mangled hands missing a few fingers from an axe strike, his bare feet still smoldering from a Fireball spell, loops of grayish-purple intestines spilling out from a gaping sword wound on his abdomen, both eyes gouged out by a dagger, vocal cords ripped out of the throat, and stiff lips frozen with his final song. Succint (10 words) A half-elf's brutally-wounded body lies in the ruined Dwarf city. Shorter (50 words) In the ruined city of Gast, a badly-mangled half-elf bard lies still on the ground: his body riddled with arrows, a few fingers missing from his hands, his feet badly burnt, his internal organs spilling out from his opened belly, both of his eyes missing, and his throat ripped apart. Too Short (5 words) Mutilated half-elf bard in Gast! Easy peasy.  The 100 word sentence took me 5x the time to write! 

Seeing as how the majority of my 100 word sentence was nothing more than descriptive gore porn, for some reason I had no problems whatsoever cutting it down to size.

But I will admit really that if that were a more serious sentence, I will have great difficulty in pruning my own words.

Against the odds, Jasmine stalked forwards.  Beneath the shadows of night, her dappled coat gave her an advantage other cats might not posses.  Camouflaged by her coat, she cautiously strode forward.  Despite the slight fog, or perhaps because of it, she took on the challenge before her.  Eager for success, she carefully prodded forward across the patio paving stones.
 
Fog was only one of her worries, however.  Getting above the fog helped enormously.  However, the planter box on the edge of the garden wall rustled too much for her to trust.  It wasn't the best of places to launch a surprise attack, either.  Jumping from the box might upset it, costing Jasmine both distance and the advantage of a silent approach.  Keeping that advantage was key.
 
Leaning around the garden wall, Jasmine took a long, focused look at her target.  Much of her strategy depended on proper positioning before the surge.  Night birds overhead became silent, noticing the cat's body language changing, as Jasmine made herself as close to the ground as possible.  One single squirrel stood on the lawn, his tail up as he munched on an acorn.  Perhaps the rodent didn't know that the gathering shadows weren't his best time to seek food.  Quelling an urge to strike early, Jasmine settled in, watching, waiting.  Rushing forward at the wrong time would give the squirrel a chance to escape: not in Jasmine's plan.
 
Suddenly, the squirrel looked up.  Tail twitching in the gentle evening breeze, he looked around.  Undoubtedly, the lack of bird song and the stirring of errant breezes brought some warning to the rodent, and his body shifted.

Viewing the change in the squirrel, Jasmine paused.  Without the edge of surprise, the squirrel would get away.  Xyloid branches from the vernal undergrowth screened the cat from her target, but the wily rodent was alerted.  Yearning to complete the hunt, Jasmine took a chance and bolted from cover, bounding towards her goal.
 
Zoom!
 

Quelten pulls Zem off to the side.  "You know, if you needed money you could have just asked," he says severely.  "There was no need to try and pick my pockets.  I would have helped."
 
"Now, what is it that you wanted to buy so badly you were going to steal from me to get it?"

Original (100 words) The harsh wind howls through the devastated dwarven settlement of Gast, mercilessly scattering dust and leaves past the unmoving half-elf lying in a pool of blood, the body showing signs of massive damage: a dozen arrows sticking out from his chest, back, and thighs, his mangled hands missing a few fingers from an axe strike, his bare feet still smoldering from a Fireball spell, loops of grayish-purple intestines spilling out from a gaping sword wound on his abdomen, both eyes gouged out by a dagger, vocal cords ripped out of the throat, and stiff lips frozen with his final song. Succint (10 words) A half-elf's brutally-wounded body lies in the ruined Dwarf city. Shorter (50 words) In the ruined city of Gast, a badly-mangled half-elf bard lies still on the ground: his body riddled with arrows, a few fingers missing from his hands, his feet badly burnt, his internal organs spilling out from his opened belly, both of his eyes missing, and his throat ripped apart. Too Short (5 words) Mutilated half-elf bard in Gast! Easy peasy.  The 100 word sentence took me 5x the time to write! 

Seeing as how the majority of my 100 word sentence was nothing more than descriptive gore porn, for some reason I had no problems whatsoever cutting it down to size.

But I will admit really that if that were a more serious sentence, I will have great difficulty in pruning my own words.

Original (100 words) The harsh wind howls through the devastated dwarven settlement of Gast, mercilessly scattering dust and leaves past the unmoving half-elf lying in a pool of blood, the body showing signs of massive damage: a dozen arrows sticking out from his chest, back, and thighs, his mangled hands missing a few fingers from an axe strike, his bare feet still smoldering from a Fireball spell, loops of grayish-purple intestines spilling out from a gaping sword wound on his abdomen, both eyes gouged out by a dagger, vocal cords ripped out of the throat, and stiff lips frozen with his final song. Succint (10 words) A half-elf's brutally-wounded body lies in the ruined Dwarf city. Shorter (50 words) In the ruined city of Gast, a badly-mangled half-elf bard lies still on the ground: his body riddled with arrows, a few fingers missing from his hands, his feet badly burnt, his internal organs spilling out from his opened belly, both of his eyes missing, and his throat ripped apart. Too Short (5 words) Mutilated half-elf bard in Gast! Easy peasy.  The 100 word sentence took me 5x the time to write! 

Original (100 words) The harsh wind howls through the devastated dwarven settlement of Gast, mercilessly scattering dust and leaves past the unmoving half-elf lying in a pool of blood, the body showing signs of massive damage: a dozen arrows sticking out from his chest, back, and thighs, his mangled hands missing a few fingers from an axe strike, his bare feet still smoldering from a Fireball spell, loops of grayish-purple intestines spilling out from a gaping sword wound on his abdomen, both eyes gouged out by a dagger, vocal cords ripped out of the throat, and stiff lips frozen with his final song. Succint (10 words) A half-elf's brutally-wounded body lies in the ruined Dwarf city. Shorter (50 words) In the ruined city of Gast, a badly-mangled half-elf bard lies still on the ground: his body riddled with arrows, a few fingers missing from his hands, his feet badly burnt, his internal organs spilling out from his opened belly, both of his eyes missing, and his throat ripped apart. Too Short (5 words) Mutilated half-elf bard in Gast! Easy peasy.  The 100 word sentence took me 5x the time to write! 

It sounds to me like you're just trying to PUNk out on it.

some of you should be stoppun this here from goin further

I'm sorry, ken barber, but what constitutes a “good sentence” is subject to interpretation and is inherently fraught with peril – it can be a grammatically-accurate series of words that are strung together without any egregious spelling or syntactical error; it can form part of an academic treatise that takes a complicated idea and breaks it down into chunks small enough to be communicable in elegant fashion without sacrificing academic integrity; finally, it can also be a long introductory internal monologue replete with adjectives, adverbs, and verbs that are extremely abusive of punctuation marks such as quotation marks and semicolons.

So as you can see, before I can work on a hundred-word sentence, further clarification is necessary!

Edit: This is not a submission because the above-mentioned statement is only 99 words in length!

The harsh wind howls through the devastated dwarven settlement of Gast, mercilessly scattering dust and leaves past the unmoving half-elf lying in a pool of blood, the body showing signs of massive damage: a dozen arrows sticking out from his chest, back, and thighs, his mangled hands missing a few fingers from an axe strike, his bare feet still smoldering from a Fireball spell, loops of grayish-purple intestines spilling out from a gaping sword wound on his abdomen, both eyes gouged out by a dagger, vocal cords ripped out of the throat, and stiff lips frozen with his final song.

I'm sorry, ken barber, but what constitutes a “good sentence” is subject to interpretation and is inherently fraught with peril – it can be a grammatically-accurate series of words that are strung together without any egregious spelling or syntactical error; it can form part of an academic treatise that takes a complicated idea and breaks it down into chunks small enough to be communicable in elegant fashion without sacrificing academic integrity; finally, it can also be a long introductory internal monologue replete with adjectives, adverbs, and verbs that are extremely abusive of punctuation marks such as quotation marks and semicolons.

So as you can see, before I can work on a hundred-word sentence, further clarification is necessary!

Edit: This is not a submission because the above-mentioned statement is only 99 words in length!

The harsh wind howls through the devastated dwarven settlement of Gast, mercilessly scattering dust and leaves past the unmoving half-elf lying in a pool of blood, the body showing signs of massive damage: a dozen arrows sticking out from his chest, back, and thighs, his mangled hands missing a few fingers from an axe strike, his bare feet still smoldering from a Fireball spell, loops of grayish-purple intestines spilling out from a gaping sword wound on his abdomen, both eyes gouged out by a dagger, vocal cords ripped out of the throat, and stiff lips frozen with his final song.

It shall be waived so long as PUNctilious behavior is maintained.

ContraPUNtally, the cyberPUNks have no comPUNCtion with PUNchily PUNctuating their PUNcheons of brew with homesPUN traPUNto...

(Sorry man, with the PBP game apparently on hiatus, I'm a little peckish for some word action!)

I apologize Ken but as I am not Shakespear, Edgar Allen Po, or another author in whose lifetime excessively flowery and complex language was considered a positive and skillful display of good taste and writing capacity, I must refuse, on moral, ethical and professional grounds, to indulge this puerile butchering of the English language and proper writing skills on the grounds it has no and can never gain any reasonable purpose or legitimacy, as such legitimacy not only should flow but could only flow from the development or enhancement of a necessary proficiency in either a useful skill or a domain of knowledge.

The PUNdits are all outPUNching each other while the sPUNky ones are asking for PUNishment to be handled with imPUNity 

so no PUNitive action?

my apologies I will PUNt this one away