ken barber Posted November 8, 2014 Report Share Posted November 8, 2014 Recently, a female sheriff's deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of a field at night. The next day, at the Gwinnet County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication. The suspect explained that he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop. He explained: "As there was no one around for miles, or at least I thought there was no one around." he stated. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. "Guess I was really into it, y'know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching sheriff's car and was unaware of his audience until Deputy Brenda Taylor approached him. 'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Deputy Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just humping away at this pumpkin.' Deputy Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence ... 'I said: 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?’ He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said: 'A pumpkin? Shit ... is it midnight already?' The court (and the judge) could not contain their laughter. Lawrence was found guilty only of public intoxication, fined $10.00 and sent on his way. The Washington Post wrote an article describing this as "The best come-back line ever." Jeikor 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al Norris Posted November 8, 2014 Report Share Posted November 8, 2014 I don't care who you are... That right there, is just funny!! ken barber and A.B 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rilbur Posted November 8, 2014 Report Share Posted November 8, 2014 There is something seriously wrong... <coughing fit> Seriously wro- <another coughing fit> ng with the fact that I- <coughing fit> Can't stop - <coughing fit, that sounds suspiciously like...> Laughing! <Outright snickers growing into a full-out belly laugh> A.B and ken barber 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary Posted November 9, 2014 Report Share Posted November 9, 2014 That is just classic! ken barber 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ken barber Posted November 9, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 9, 2014 Makes for a good Laugh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.B Posted November 10, 2014 Report Share Posted November 10, 2014 poor Cinderella Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ken barber Posted November 10, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 10, 2014 Cinderella- a maid servant that disguised herself as a noble women in an attempt to woo the Prince. Treachery Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.B Posted November 10, 2014 Report Share Posted November 10, 2014 you have that wrong Cinderella was the princess who's poopy father remarried a b....ad woman and she almost lost her inheritance, but then whole story, prince etc she got it back etc and that's the story I like Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ken barber Posted November 10, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 10, 2014 great thing about fairy tales they are open to interpretation. Of course I would probably be the evil step mother so I am a little biased Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.B Posted November 10, 2014 Report Share Posted November 10, 2014 no you'd probably be the father who dumps the evil step mother and gets a husband and Cinderella ends up talking about makeup with him and shoe sizes just kidding and no interpretations...my version is the correct one ken barber 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeikor Posted November 23, 2014 Report Share Posted November 23, 2014 Nah!! He is the Prince trying to find his Cinderfella!! ken barber 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.