Jeikor Posted January 27, 2015 Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 A child's faith is fragile as butterfly wings. It will lose its strength when a red wasp stings. So remember all your promises for a child will, too. And whatever you have promised be sure, that is what you do. Be not the red wasp that causes faith to die; But keep safe the butterfly and lift it to the sky. JVM Jack Schaeffer, Shayn059 and ken barber 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricky Posted January 28, 2015 Report Share Posted January 28, 2015 Nicely done. And so true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zergrinch Posted January 28, 2015 Report Share Posted January 28, 2015 Though frail and easily sundered As the wings of butterflies There's nothing quite as powerful When fervid faith arises Your prose speaks but the truth Safeguard that faith from harm. A simple flap of butterfly wings Can stir up quite a storm. Ricky and Jeikor 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeikor Posted January 29, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2015 Nicely done. And so true. Thank you! This was written when I was working at a daycare and dealing with a child that had been abused. Luckily his was discovered early and not much happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeikor Posted January 29, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2015 Though frail and easily sundered As the wings of butterflies There's nothing quite as powerful When fervid faith arises Your prose speaks but the truth Safeguard that faith from harm. A simple flap of butterfly wings Can stir up quite a storm. Very nice, zerg! Still don't understand how you think you have no creativity. Ricky 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zergrinch Posted January 29, 2015 Report Share Posted January 29, 2015 I can't write dialogue to save my life. And I also have a phobia with using the word "said", it seems For example, look at some of my character's dialogue. He's a 16-year old who, due to ongoing memory enchantment, has the mental maturity of someone who is younger. But the choice of words I use can be wholly inappropriate for his comprehension level ken barber 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricky Posted January 29, 2015 Report Share Posted January 29, 2015 I can't write dialogue to save my life. And I also have a phobia with using the word "said", it seems For example, look at some of my character's dialogue. He's a 16-year old who, due to ongoing memory enchantment, has the mental maturity of someone who is younger. But the choice of words I use can be wholly inappropriate for his comprehension level Don't be so hard on yourself. That is a really difficult thing to do. Especially when there is no definitive age for the youngster and his vocabulary. SO it would be natural to talk to his chronological age or even above it. That would be normal. The difficult part would be in your proof reading, recognizing it and adding a puzzled or blank look and then explaining it to his level. Doing it that way would draw emphasis to his diminished capacity. Thus building a stronger character. That would be a very difficult character to write consistently for even the most seasoned author. The fact that you spotted it means you can rework it. Writing is a growth activity. The more you do it the better you get. If you look at mine you can see a vast difference from when I started to what I write now. I feel no shame or embarrassment over my earlier works. They were still good stories even if they could be much better written. I write because I love to tell stories that move people's emotions and give them hope. I write because I love to create a person and give them life and then tell their stories. Am I even close to proficient? Not even close. It's enjoyable and a meaningful escape. I'm not judged by it. The story may stand in judgement, but not the author. If writing is something you enjoy doing then "do it". Comments are nice, especially when someone is touched by something I wrote, but I write for me first, the readers second. I've only had one hate comment and that was over the loss in one of my stories. I didn't plan it it just sorta happened. But I explained it and they either read on or didn't, I don't know. But I learned that not everybody will like what I've written. For many it has too much sex, for others, not enough. I write for me. Others likes or dislikes are superfluous. ken barber and Zergrinch 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shayn059 Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 Zergrich, I agree. if writing is something you love, just writing whats in your heart. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Write what you like. ken barber 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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