Can you spare a quarter "revised edition" sneak peek

[Guest]

we've been working to make the story a bit more interesting out of the start of the gate. here's a small preview of it.  Course now I'll have t use the sad puppy eye's but I decided I'd rather have Castle Roland host it and maybe a few other sites, since it seems to be well like as apposed to getting it publihed. maybe one day I'll take a copy to one of these do it yourself publishers and have them print a book out just for me course I'd probably have to buy 100 copies but i am sure I could sell them fast as signed limited collectors items. OK I ramble enough!LOL  so here it is!!!  QUIET ON THE SET LIGHTS ACTION, QUE THE MUSIC  5, 4, 3, 2, 

 

  The morning dawned clear and cold over the city. Frost clinging to the bricks on the sides of the buildings sparkled in the rays of the rising sun as it peeked through the thin wisps of fog that lay in isolated patches over the city. Beneath the unblemished blue sky down in a back alley a pile of discarded newspapers began to shift as a small figure stirred beneath them. At first the movements were subtle but then a tattered running shoe appeared from under the mound of newspaper. Then another foot appeared and finally a small dirty young hand came into view and moved the upper layers of newspaper to one side.

  Blinking his eyes against the morning sun Jamie shivered as he slowly stretched his legs to get some sensation back into them. 

 

[A.B]

oh wow, so much of the story revealed lol 

[Guest]

oh wow, so much of the story revealed lol 

Well I don't know if i could get the first whole chapter on here LOL 

[Jeikor]

Yeah, that was almost as bad as the new Star Wars movie trailer that popped up so many tiny bits of scenes it was almost useless.

[Jack Schaeffer]

I for one am very anxious to read the "revised" version of this riveting story - I would definitely pay money to read it - it's that compelling. 

[Guest]

OK I'll give a a little taste more. 

 

from where I left off.  I gotta say  it's like a total rewrite in the begining so if you compare it it's like apples and oranges. most stays the same but we wanted to try starting it with more a dramatic punch more in your face then the first story. 

The temperature at night was getting far too cold for him now to be sleeping outdoors but as his stomach growled he knew that was the least of his problems. There had been nothing to eat yesterday but the day before that Jamie had been lucky and found a cold discarded hamburger in the dumpster behind a fast-food restaurant. Not exactly haut cuisine but Jamie had been in no position to be discriminating. Perhaps today he might do better. Christmas was rapidly approaching and he hoped that meant people might be more approachable to a plea for some spare change. Jamie knew however that soon he was going to have to get money for food one way or another. The prospect made him shudder as it always did.

Jamie picked up his old battered canvas backpack that held everything he owned and checked inside. His things were still there. One never knew on the streets what might happen during the night. Twelve years old, short, and slim, Jamie did not provide the intimidating presence that might deter those in even more desperate circumstances than himself. Although lacking in physical size, Jamie had one advantage that most people living on the street did not, he kept his eyes open and he used his head. There were ways to keep out of trouble other than busting heads and Jamie made full use of his innate intelligence. Jamie had never heard of Sun Tsu but nevertheless he instinctively understood the value in remaining invisible and observing.

Yesterday he had tried the business district downtown but that had not proven very fruitful. It had been a long hard day of working the passersby and Jamie only had fifty-eight cents to show for it. Together with what he already had in his pocket that came to a total of seventy-two cents. It was clear that food in any meaningful sense was still going to be some time off in the future. 

Jamie decided that today he would try his luck at the North Road Mall. He knew that the best time to catch people was midday when they were in a hurry to get something to eat and then get back to work. If he appealed to their sympathy he would often be able to convince them to part with a coin or two. Jamie had learnt quickly that the best way was never to ask for too much at one time but instead to try for something small. While the amount he might get from any one person would not be very large the chances of making a successful appeal were much better. If not the Christmas shoppers then maybe some of the business traffic from the office tower next to the mall might be willing to be generous with their spare change. Jamie had managed some success at the mall in the past and so he decided to try it again.

Shouldering his backpack Jamie began to walk in the direction of the mall. It would take a couple of hours at least to get there but time was the one commodity that Jamie had in abundance. Taking a bus to cover the distance more quickly was not even a consideration. The price of a bus ride would more than cover the cost of getting something to fill the aching hunger inside him but Jamie knew from long experience that he had to conserve his meagre funds for absolute necessities. Luxuries like bus rides might come some day but not today. Jamie had no idea how or when things might change for the better but he was determined that one way or another he would survive.

The cold winter wind was picking up speed but unfortunately his jacket was thin and had seen better days. This combined with his hunger chilled him through to the bone. Jamie tried to walk faster to warm himself up but the lack of food meant Jamie’s energy level was quite low. Wrapping his arms around himself to try and keep warm, he pushed on against the blowing wind. The clear sky meant that it would warm up a bit during the day but tonight when the sun went down it was going to be bitterly cold. Jamie realized that he was going to have to find somewhere warmer to stay at night very soon. He had tried a public shelter once about a month ago during a particularly cold night but that had just led to them calling the Department of Child Welfare. In Jamie’s experience Child Welfare’s solution to everything was to simply send him back home and suggest that the family get counselling. With what had been happening to him at home being the reason that he had originally run away it hardly made things better. Passing by a school Jamie could see children his own age running and laughing as they headed into the building for their classes. He briefly considered going in to get warm but with so many people watching and monitoring the children Jamie knew that he would be spotted very quickly and therefore it would be pointless.

Jamie walked on through a residential district and continued heading east. Another hour and he would finally be at the mall complex. King Edward Park was only a few blocks ahead now. Jamie loved the tall trees in the park that seemed to reach all the way up to the sky. The oasis of green was like an island in the middle of a vast sea of concrete and asphalt. The city lapped at the edges of the park but was kept at bay by the small protected remnant of what remained of the original forest that had once covered the area where the city now stood.

Jamie walked into the park and the dense underbrush combined with the canopy provided by the trees began to gradually deaden the sounds of the city until eventually it became totally silent. The stillness of the park was broken only by the occasional cries of birds or the scurrying about of squirrels and other small animals. Sometimes Jamie liked to stop and watch the squirrels as they ran about hunting for food. A few times he had tried to approach them but they had always been too skittish and ran away whenever he would get too close. Going along a narrow pathway through the park Jamie could see the sun peeking through casting faint beams of light between the trunks of the great towering trees. Walking along the meandering pathway through the park he wished that he could live far way in a place like this. To be able to live somewhere far away from the noise of the city, far away from the problems he dealt with every day, far away from the back alleys that he slept in at night, far away from where he was hungry, but most especially far away from certain other things.

Eventually Jamie emerged on the other side of the park and he could finally see the outline of the mall and the office tower next to it in the distance. As Jamie got closer he turned and walked towards the subway station that adjoined the mall rather than the actual mall itself. Jamie had learnt the hard way that if he were actually on mall property he would have problems with the security guards there. However Jamie knew a good spot on the overhead walkway that connected the subway station, the office tower, and the mall with each other. In addition to plenty of foot traffic, which increased the chances of finding someone in a generous mood, it was on transit property. Transit police only complained if you caused a disturbance or obstructed foot traffic, the security guards at the mall, however, would often go after someone simply as a means to liven up their otherwise boring and tedious jobs.

Jamie found his spot, let his backpack slip off his shoulder onto the ground, and sat down next to it. These days all too many bored teenagers from the suburbs viewed panhandling as simply an alternative source of income or lifestyle and were found on many a street corner with their hands out. Jamie could spot these with just a casual glance and viewed them with disdain. While they might think it an interesting way to while away the day, for Jamie it was not a reaction to boredom or his way of rebelling against parents, society, or some other perceived oppressor. In Jamie’s case it was simple survival. A bit of change coaxed from a passerby was quite simply the difference between eating and going hungry for another day. If that failed and Jamie could find nothing to eat in the dumpsters then he had to resort to other methods in order to eat. If he was unsuccessful today he might have to do that again. The knowledge of what might lie ahead of him did nothing to warm Jamie’s heart as he sat down on the cold cement at the entrance to the subway station. He put his hand out and began to scan the crowds of people walking past him.

*** *** *** *** 

 

I hope that's enough to tickle your tonseles and wait for the rest Once we get past some more personal issues I am dealing with lets just call them ghost of Xmas past and the season passes by I'll carry on with the re-work with tigerpaw and Jay.  

[Guest]

I for one am very anxious to read the "revised" version of this riveting story - I would definitely pay money to read it - it's that compelling. 

I actually decided that I would rather have it hosted so all could read it no charge.  Pop woud do anything for me even to the point of publishing it but the story would have to change so much and I was afraid it'd loose the essence of the reality tht it is meant to imply, simple fact it's my life and I live part f that story every day and will have both the physical which have faded some over time, and emotional scars which will never fade. but th the help of tigerpaw, and Jason  and my deep need to not let the bastards win I'll make it for a long time. Just to show you something. when I'm haveing a time with it sometimes i revert back to my 13 year old self and the only way to deal with pain. as you can see it's even date stamped. SO tis the season for me  

But I do hope you all enjoy the story.  It's real Just ask Tiger and he'll confirm the image Jay sent it to him yesterday after trying to figure out why i was wearing a long sleeve shirt for the past week.  Peac all and good night enjoy the snipet of chapter one "and accidental meeting." 

[Tigerpaw]

My angel has made a decision as you can see ... he was also a bit of a naughty boy as you can also see ... but he has been fighting a very difficult battle this last little while and we are confident that something momentous has been achieved out of the recent misery and tears.

 

When things calm down, life gets settled, and we have time, we will finish off the story.  While this may be the season to be jolly for many, for my "Jamie" this was always the season to be brutalized ... and so it holds no joy for him, only horrific memories.  Getting past those isn't easy, but he's doing it slowly but surely.

 

I told him long long ago that I wrote the story for only one reason.  I'm telling him that again.  The story is for you "Jamie" ... to tell you how very special you are, and how much you mean to me.

 

Always and forever.

 

 

[Jack Schaeffer]

Jamie,

 

I am a stranger and will never know the joy of meeting you. Nor of Jay or Tiger or your Pop. But I can tell you that I stand with every last one of the people who have read your story and will continue to stand with you as you wage a victorious battle to defeat your demons. I could not sleep tonight - very restless, which is unusual for me. I decided to check my email and saw your post above. And the picture. Though you would never ask for it, I will now spend some time fighting for you and those who love you in the only way I know how. I rejoice that you are physically safe tonight. May you have total peace and complete freedom very, very soon.  You are truly loved, Jamie, by so many. Keep fighting!

[A.B]

I am no stranger to demons both metaphorical and literal so I will agree with Jack. You have my blade, my support and my company. I will stand with you until the demons of our souls lie defeated or we can take no more breath. Shall we change the world squirrel-eater?

[Guest]

Jamie,

 

I am a stranger and will never know the joy of meeting you. Nor of Jay or Tiger or your Pop. But I can tell you that I stand with every last one of the people who have read your story and will continue to stand with you as you wage a victorious battle to defeat your demons. I could not sleep tonight - very restless, which is unusual for me. I decided to check my email and saw your post above. And the picture. Though you would never ask for it, I will now spend some time fighting for you and those who love you in the only way I know how. I rejoice that you are physically safe tonight. May you have total peace and complete freedom very, very soon.  You are truly loved, Jamie, by so many. Keep fighting!

Once I get by the silly season I'm snap out of it, I did some stupid stuff this time but battleing demons at times t gets to rough to handle. Even my Jason has gotten his fair share, I damn near knocked his jaw off from a nightmare, then I managed to punch him hard enough to crack a couple ribs. SO I'm going hunting today just myself, to clear my head and do battle with the evil nasty squirrels and rabbits with nasty sharp pointy teeth!! 

[Guest]

I am no stranger to demons both metaphorical and literal so I will agree with Jack. You have my blade, my support and my company. I will stand with you until the demons of our souls lie defeated or we can take no more breath. Shall we change the world squirrel-eater?

Why is it I see the king changing my title from royal vermin army commander to squirrel eater LOL I shall attack them with vigor today with my pointed stick!   

Thank you everyone for the support this time of year every little prayer helps. Hey I may be an adult now, but the kid inside me is still scared to death. and he's still a little boy who don't like looking under the bed!   Thanks everyone for all the support  it really does mean a lot to me, and I hope you like the snippet I posted, I may even feel generous if my vermin army does well to share a bit more    

[Jack Schaeffer]

Happy hunting!

[A.B]

hahahahaha royal taster and squirrel eater!!

[Guest]

it's actually very tasty I normally boil the meat off the bone then make BBQ out of it served on bun with baked beans and potato saald and stuff during the summer. 

[Jeikor]

I have told you before and I will tell you again... and again....... and again....  I am with you on this until every demon has been sent back to hell. We care. Although I do not have those kinds of demons my heart breaks for those who do and I have dealt with a few kids who have had physical and sexual abuse. It is not pretty and as much as you want to wrap them in your arms usually you can't. They don't trust anymore.  

[A.B]

I have told you before and I will tell you again... and again....... and again....  I am with you on this until every demon has been sent back to hell. We care. Although I do not have those kinds of demons my heart breaks for those who do and I have dealt with a few kids who have had physical and sexual abuse. It is not pretty and as much as you want to wrap them in your arms usually you can't. They don't trust anymore.  

 

 

yeah once you've been abused one way or another building trust is one of the biggest challenges.

[Guest]

yeah once you've been abused one way or another building trust is one of the biggest challenges.

and I have a very very small circle of it even after 16 years. 

[A.B]

little is better than none Something to build on Hang in there

[Ricky]

You have one more in your circle.

The true mark of greatness can be measured in a man's willingness to present their pain that others may see it and help others still hiding it. I know there is also a certain healing that occurs in exposing the hurt to the air and the light. But it's painful to do so. Just know that in doing so you give some hope, to others, they know they are not alone in their pain and you give them hope, you give still others awareness of those hurt and surviving and through your sharing, you remove the blinders and allow them to share their hearts and to help the others still hiding in the shadows, still looking for someone to save them.

 

You truly are a crusader Jamie, a warrior of the light, defender of the weak and a holder of true hearts. You've helped me to help my son. And for that I will always be in your debt. Don't ever change what makes you "you", just get stronger. And let the 13 year old out a little more, he's holding and protecting your heart behind that wall of warrior.

 

I read somewhere that self generated fear is good, it keeps us alert, courage is acting in spite of that fear. I can only hope that your story creates more TigerPaws and more J's in the world. They are simply the very best.

Hugs. Make 2015 "your" year to practice love and the good life.

[Jeikor]

and I have a very very small circle of it even after 16 years. 

From what has been said and written and reading between the lines on what hasn't been said I think you have had a much worse time than the ones I have had the priviledge of working with. So your issues would be worse and harder to overcome but I think you are doing a fine job or you wouldn't be able to trust us with your story. Keep working on it and don't ever give in.

[Guest]

From what has been said and written and reading between the lines on what hasn't been said I think you have had a much worse time than the ones I have had the priviledge of working with. So your issues would be worse and harder to overcome but I think you are doing a fine job or you wouldn't be able to trust us with your story. Keep working on it and don't ever give in.

Yeah this is the reders digest condensed book.  the full story well just double everything you read or have read, and yeah the system screwed me over enough and tried again a few years ago. but i keep fighting as Jay would put it "there's just this spark deep in him that suddenly turnes into a flame",  and there one thing that keeps me going and it was something someone said to me, not sure who but I don't wanna be a spoiler they said to me" don't ever quit fighting, when you quit they win" and I think it's true yeah sometimes I fall back to some of my 12 and 13 year old bad habbits but mostly i try not to. cutting was my worst and during my recent bout with my demons i did it 14 times,  course Jay found out, and it semi ended I snuck a few more in then he found those out. but then I had like this thing snap in my brain. calling me an idiot for doing that, and i realized that side was right i was just giving nto the demons.  and I dont know if it was my getting stuck with my truck and laughing my ass silly abut the whole mess or what but the spark that was just a glimmer flared back to life, and the flame is back. and I put the demons to bed again. 

 

Now it's time for some ancient throat singing at least until I have an epiphany LOL (watching simpsons movie) 

I may get down from time to time but mostly i'm up, and now that what i consider the silly seasons over with I think I'm moving beyond, (ok so I am still playing with my farm toys in my game room) but every day I make a step forward some days it's 3 steps back. but slowly I rise t the top of the shit piled about me and go on. I have periods that can last months even into years where I am happy go lucky and pretty much living in my own world (which is really happy)  those are becoming stronger with every battle I fight in the down times. so maybe this last battle was one huge step forward for me even if it also ment 3 steps back the step frward was when I was all alone in the middle of nowhere stuck in a lake  and laughing my ass off about how dumb i was. and it just fred that flame up. the funny part was if i had just sat down for 5 mins and gave it a few seconds of thought I had all the tools to get me out. But I think the higher power then me had plans for me that day. and so I laughed and laughed. and I think that just was the right gun to bury some of them demons for good. 

Sorry for the disertation  sometimes i do this LOL  anyways off to sleep there be vermin about that have left my army and I need to hunt them down….. shhhh be vewy vewy quiet i'm hunting wabbits  hahahaha                  

[Jeikor]

Yeah, sometimes it is the oddest things that perk us up. A couple of weeks ago I was riding my bicycle to work (which I do quite often since we only have one vehicle right now). It was cold and a bit wet but I had planned ahead and had extra clothes. When I got to work I had made better time than I thought and had extra time to dry off and change into work clothes. And for some reason I felt content all day no matter what came up during work.

 

Anyway to go with your last comment, singing:

 

"Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit"  LOL        

[Guest]

Yeah, sometimes it is the oddest things that perk us up. A couple of weeks ago I was riding my bicycle to work (which I do quite often since we only have one vehicle right now). It was cold and a bit wet but I had planned ahead and had extra clothes. When I got to work I had made better time than I thought and had extra time to dry off and change into work clothes. And for some reason I felt content all day no matter what came up during work.

 

Anyway to go with your last comment, singing:

 

"Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit"  LOL        

So you leaned opera like Tigerpaw did by watching bugs bunny! LOL 

[Jeikor]

Yes, I am probably closer to Tigerpaws age than yours.  Plus the Looney Toons words are easier to understand than the originals. Also I love pointing out to people who think they have no use for classical music that they have heard it if they watched the Bugs cartoons.