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what irks you about my works


Kyle Aarons

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After rereading four chapters, I have counted the following.

 

Twenty Named Living Characters:

  1. Aster
  2. Conner
  3. Conth
  4. Dart
  5. Emroc
  6. Falk
  7. Glaster
  8. Gormel
  9. Handri
  10. Jamon
  11. Kandric
  12. Lannet
  13. Pocet
  14. Porma
  15. Sardan
  16. Shade
  17. Sy
  18. Syria
  19. Tyfod
  20. Vondum
Two Named but Dead Characters:
  1. Kald
  2. Smoky
Eleven Unnamed Characters Whose Names I Know
  1. Halfling woman (Gambra)
  2. Illorc Leader (Monarch)
  3. Kandric's mother
  4. Kandric's Oldest Brother
  5. Kandric's Second Brother
  6. Kandric's Sister
  7. Kandric's Third Brother
  8. Overseer
  9. Overseer's Daughter
  10. Overseer's Eldest Son
  11. Overseer's Youngest Son
Twelve Unnamed Characters 
  1. Conth's brother
  2. Conth's cousin
  3. Handri's Guard 2
  4. Handri's Guard 3
  5. Handri's Guard 4
  6. Overseer's Wife
  7. Raped girl 1
  8. Raped girl 2
  9. Raped woman 1
  10. Raped woman 2
  11. Sacrificial Orc Boy
  12. Sacrificial Orc Girl
Not to mention a gaggle of people who are background fluff, like the two strangers who didn't intervene in Kandric's ironing, the woman who shooed the cat, the Lizardman prince saved by Aster, and various token background characters.

 

Four chapters in, there are at least 22 confirmed names; 33 if you include the ones named later.  The saga currently has 29 chapters, so at a rate of 5.5 per chapter, the current estimate is 160 names! :)

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jeikor,

 

If you haven't read Defenders yet, start there it is a completed story

 

otherwise, read Re-Emergence or Destiny's Shadow.

 

that would be my recommendations

Thanks, I will start with Defenders then.

 

But I still hope for more Hollow-ween. Just sayin'.

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I have read up to Chapter 8, with the following stats:

 

Named Characters (46): Asmodius, Aster, Conner, Conth, Darmoth, Dart, Dasdak, Dryvet, Emroc, Etran, Falden, Falk, Gablon, Glaster, Gormel, Handri, Hontel, Jamon, Kandric, Kaylaria, Klandon, Lannet, Lylan, Mokel, Monarch, Mylan, Ognel, Pocet, Pontarius, Porma, Quavis, Rathiter, Rayklar, Sardath, Senexsia, Seriff, Shade, Sy, Syria, Tyfod, Vialea, Vindayin, Vondum, Yarnay, Zerris, Zoldon

 

Characters named later (11): Gambra, Hired sword 1, Hired sword 2, Hired sword 3, Hired sword 4, Kaylaria's Father, King, Lylan's whipping boy, Mylan's whipping boy, Overseer, Pontarius' son

 

Dead named characters (5): Bavner, Kald, Lontz, Smoky, Starleaf
 
Dead unnamed characters (4): Aster's enemy (druid), Aster's enemy (swordsman), Gablon's eldest daughter, Hired sword 5
 
Unnamed characters (38): Arena channeler, Arena healthman, Asmodius' first mate, Cloud Spirit, Conch's mother, Conth's brother, Fog Spirit, Gablon's druid, Gablon's eldest son, Gablon's healthman, Gablon's mage, Gablon's second son, Gablon's Wife, Gablon's youngest daughter, Halfling Disguiser, Handri Guard 2, Handri Guard 3, Handri Guard 4, Injured Man, Jamon's brother, Jamon's mother, Kandric's Sister, Kandric's Youngest Brother, Maquis' son, Overseer's wife, Royal Healthman, Twins' Room Guard, Vondum's healthman, Wind Spirit, Vondum's Young Swordsman, Orc Boy Sacrifice, Orc Girl Sacrifice, Raped Woman 1, Raped Woman 2, Wounded Orc 1, Wounded Orc 2, Raped Girl 1, Raped Girl 2
 

Total Named and Later Named, both living and dead: 62 (7.75/chapter)

Current Estimate at this rate: 224 characters

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  • 11 months later...

Kyle

One thing that irks me in Kandric saga is the story line of Conner's teacher. My eyes tend to glaze over when he gets too preachy about morals. I think he's a bit long winded to explain simple concepts. When I reread the story I often scroll right past these parts.

Otherwise the stories you write are great. Thanks for the entertainment. 

Kaius

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Sir Kaius,

thanks for the input. One thing to keep in mind is Conner's Teacher is a Channeler so he does get a bit preachy becase he is a preist of sorts :)

this by no means takes away from your observations, for I love to hear when pole don't like something and why. It is extremely helpful to me and helps me to become a better writer

Edited by Kyle Aarons
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  • 1 year later...

spoiler alert for those who only read Kandric saga on this site. 

Kyle,

I have a problem in chapter 30. After the Alphar submit to Aster they are absent from the story line. I can not. believe they would have abandoned him, especially during the city escape and at the ambush. I get the sense the would be willing to lay down their lives for their  prince unless ordered to do other wise. 

Not to mention Connor's guardians where are they in the battle at the Inn. Plus why were they not assigned Garm counterparts because it is clear they are in combat outside the Alphar lands.

I hope this doesn't upset you or complicate things for you. I just observed this little over site 

Kaius 

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  • 3 months later...

Couple of things of note 

Only garm/alphar royalty need counterparts outside of their lands. The Alphar are good but they would have had a nearly impossible time to!lowing the barge down the gorge.

If Aster tells the Alphar who are loyal to him to guard the prince and get him outside the city that is exactly what they will do.

Aster has protectors, but they are supposed to be unseen...

 

Just a few thoughts for those who are trying to keep track.....

 

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  • 1 month later...

If I recall, Master Lannet said something about being tasked to keep an eye on a young Alphar that appeared in Junsac with a serious gash to his head.  In fact, he told Falk he put in a Watch Marker to prevent being transferred.  So, technically, Aster did have a Garm counterpart watching out for him.  

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  • 1 year later...

I have a problem in chapter 30. After the Alphar submit to Aster they are absent from the story line. I can not. believe they would have abandoned him, especially during the city escape and at the ambush. I get the sense the would be willing to lay down their lives for their  prince unless ordered to do other wise. 

 

 

Also if you say we never heard from them again that is a wrong statement as I clearly remember one of them died trying to keep the portal open

Furthermore, Glaster had to keep a close eye on the others so they wouldn't kill the drow with him so it is a fact that they are still part of the story even if its just a silent role and ended up in the wrong group when both separated after fleeing the city of rolling dale.

Just wanted to correct the wrong assumption of their disappearance of the story as it was false

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  • 1 year later...

What irks me about your work?

The fact that your stories are so good and the time between posts are so long! I've been waiting on bated breath for more since I stumbled upon this story. This irksome feeling shall be rescinded when you post though, so do try to post soon! 

 

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  • 2 months later...

Fully agree with Demented from the last post; I think you are truly talented but do not understand the significant delays.  I understand that you can have writer block or even just real life issues; but explain that instead of just nothing.  And why start a new story when you have not updated anything on the existing stories in ages???  

Just don't understand it...

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Well knowing this isn't the site that usually get the stories from Kyle first.  We should consider this new story came here first because he does have his own website.

Personally I considered all his posted stories dead, since I expected all his stories would be on books instead in the future.  Until the post this past week about looking for experts on Kandric universe which so happen I read again in June.  Now he posted a new story and maybe working again on Kandric, can't be sure he would have to tell us himself.

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Not gonna lie, I understand where all the sentiment is coming from and I'm personally reluctant to get started on the new story, given that all of Kyle's stories, with the exception of Defenders, are incomplete.

Kandric Saga, at least, seems to be in the third and final act. Assuming the story stays solely on Kandric and his brothers (which is a very big assumption and the constant shift of focus on weak or entirely new characters is one of my biggest gripes), the saga could possibly be wrapped up in a couple of (book-length) "chapters."

I don't see any clear end in sight for Brile or O'Conner's Grenadiers. The former seems to be in the middle of Act 2, and the latter seems to be even further behind, starting an entirely new story arc.

The Revolutions universe seems pretty dead to me. I guess former President Trump did way too much damage to the premise, which was entirely a conservative reaction to Obama. Life is stranger than fiction!

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Well I have a few stories myself in the works but none of them completed so for this reason I have not started sending them here but I am in the process lately of writing a few more chapters on one to eventually bring it to a close.  That story I'm working on finishing has had a few chapters posted before on nifty a long time ago.  But who knows when I will be satisfied enough to post it again reworked.  I want a good point to end it maybe end of a book to be followed at a later point.  There was a good story here I read "living with Johnny" that was great to read until its sudden ending that I personally found so incomplete, it turned me off from reading the rest of his work in case the same thing happened again in it.  So for these reason, I rather complete my stories before sending them so people don't get pissed waiting or by an ending that is rushed to just end a story

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