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Defender Story


bellis64

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[Special Note: The new website is now live. As a result the links throughout this thread are invalid except for the latest posting to the thread. All of Kyle's stories can now be found at Kyle Matthew Aarons]

Kyle found this story on this site and it says its completed. Seriously it can not be finished. When chapter 21 ended  the kids were just getting ready for the big showdown. This story is great. I hope you keep going with it.

Edited by Zach Caldwell
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  • 3 weeks later...

Hey, I think I've got a typo in this story.

 

ldquo;I can give it a shot, but there isn't a whole lot of roaming room where I'm at and there is no place I have seen in the last thirty minutes or so to do a nice easy spin."

 

-EDIT-

 

Actually, here's another.

"OK, then." Garret grabbed the map, took a seat again and started drawing lines with the help of a protractor. "Do you happen to know the magnetic declination? This far north it must be pretty big.&ddquo;

Edited by techmanjoy
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Uhh, well tell you what. Instead of replying here and cluttering this anymore if I find more I'll send them to you in a PM because I just found another.

 

ldquo;Is the phone moving?"

 

 

It kind of seems like it is a problem translating from one text type to another... ASCII to Unicode or back maybe. Just an error in the translation there.

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It kind of seems like it is a problem translating from one text type to another... ASCII to Unicode or back maybe. Just an error in the translation there.

More likely, it was a flaw in the original coding of the site -- one that never got fixed, so has just been passed from site version to site version without getting noticed.  (It's not a character encoding issue, actually; it's an html coding issue!  Someone tried to put in the right HTML code for a curley quote, at a guess, and didn't get it entered right)

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  • 1 month later...
  • 3 months later...

A note on this story: This was an attempt by me to take on "racism" and "religious bias" in a way that takes color and normal religious themes and twists them so people can hopefully look at both with a different skew. I can only hope I have succeeded to some degree.

 

As pointed out above, I certainly left it open for another book. I have several ideas down and even some introduction chapters, but I am holding off since of all my stories, I have received the least comments on Defenders. I don't know if it is just to 'off' for most, or those who read it didn't really look at some of the deeper things I was trying to accomplish with it. I would sure like to know if it is worth my effort to continue to expand this universe since it is enjoyable for me to write.

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  • 1 month later...

As pointed out above, I certainly left it open for another book. I have several ideas down and even some introduction chapters, but I am holding off since of all my stories, I have received the least comments on Defenders. I don't know if it is just to 'off' for most, or those who read it didn't really look at some of the deeper things I was trying to accomplish with it. I would sure like to know if it is worth my effort to continue to expand this universe since it is enjoyable for me to write.

 

It is definitely worth it to me for you to continue your effort. This kept me rivited. As a matter of fact you are responsible for most of my recent loss of sleep and almost falling asleep at work because I couldn't quit reading it. Thank goodness (sort of) I am finished. Would love to have more though; maybe even be about some of their kids in BEARS.

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I do not know if that was Kyle's intention, but I viewed Defenders as a straight out feel good story. The tale certainly had execrable villains and the narration described ugly prejudices that is reminiscent of Claremont's X-Men, but on the whole the protagonists had good intentions and the prejudice against augments was only told and not shown.

There is another story in this site set to the Defenders Universe, and the difference in tone is staggering. Where there were optimism, rainbows and ponies, there is only cynicism, sanatoriums, and government budgets. Not going to knock on Rilbur for being grittier and more realistic since I eagerly await the next installment still, but at this point I still prefer the straight out feel good factor in Defenders versus Unexpected Reactions.

I like Defenders because it was refreshingly different from the moral ambiguity that trends to surround Kyle's other works. Kandric Saga is positively dripping in shades of gray. Geek Squad has some very.... Interesting political views that I don't necessarily agree with. There was certainly a cartoonish political figure here, but not on the mustache twirling scale of Geek Squad. (Admittedly I don't know how much of that is Kyle's doing since it is a shared universe and outside of the Geek Squad members and their mentor and protectors, I don't know how many other characters he created.)

I like Defenders because the children, while certainly empowered, still have faults and do not come across as frighteningly hyper competent as the children of Brile and O'Connell's Grenadiers.

And maybe, I like the genre of the story. The idea of having superpowered kids and teens save the world is a trope I enjoy reading. To this day I still follow the X-Men comics, and a web comic called PS238 which had preadolescents be the heroes.

I am guessing Kyle would be a bit disappointed I did not pick up on his subtle social commentary in Defenders, but I guess I don't do subtle - you gotta hit me on the head with a brick over and over again before I sit up and notice.

Don't know if that's the feedback you want to hear, but that's what I feel about Defenders. :)

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Jeikor,

 

I appreciate the response. As already noted, I really like writing in this universe. I just can't help wonder why I have had so few responses on it. I feel it is one of my better universes and I really spent a great deal of time on the history and universe development. Thanks for reading it.

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Zergrinch,

 

Any feedback, good, bad or in-between is always welcome by me. There is not right or wrong, just opinions and I like to hear them all. The best feedback I get is when people don't like something or don't see what I was trying to point out because it gives me something to work on.

 

Hitting people over the head with bricks isn't something I tend to do or at least do not like to do with my writing. (now in person... :P ) anyway, thanks for reading and responding. The world I created for Defenders has only had the surface scratched by this story, so I really hop in the coming months I will put out some more into the world I started to create in book one.

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  • 1 month later...

There is an editing problem in Chapter 14. Immediately following, "Garret, get cleaned up and garb (sic) some food. This is going to be a long day,", the text repeats from the beginning of the chapter.

 

Very good story so far (middle of Chapter 16). Thank you very much for sharing.

 

Hugs,

 

S

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  • 5 months later...

Kyle , Haven't responded till now !

But had to let you know how much I'm liking the storyline .

It's hard putting my putr to sleep so I can !

Such a great read !

Love those guys , and gals .

And the adults help them with their augments .
I'm liking the way they help and don't shame them in the process .

Love it !!!

dael

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