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Healing Destroyed My Life


Zach Caldwell

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[Special Note: The new website is now live. As a result the links throughout this thread are invalid except for the latest posting to the thread. All of Rilbur stories can now be found at Rilbur]
 
Rape is a serious crime, with devastating, life-long consequences.
 
Benjamin thought he'd healed from his rape, but as time passed, an unbearable truth began to arose.
 
Now, he has to tell the man he loves that truth..
 
Edited by Zach Caldwell
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  • 1 year later...

Rilber , Ben has gotten from Josh what he was needing .

I heartfelt plea that he would love him , no matter what .

I have to believe that they will live together .

I also think he was just confused about his feelings .

I think his therapist was wrong about the event confusing his orientation .

To me , if you've ever been down the road to admitting to yourself how gay you are ,

nothing will stop moving forward .

Anyway , I get good vibs from how the story was left .

Going to read and comment on the remaining posts .

I like how you write and the subjects explored .

dael

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I also think he was just confused about his feelings .

I think his therapist was wrong about the event confusing his orientation .

To me , if you've ever been down the road to admitting to yourself how gay you are ,

nothing will stop moving forward .

 

Unfortunately, at the end of the day, the issue at hand wasn't 'admitting to [himself] how gay he [was]'; his sexuality had gotten screwed up by the rape.  Rape is a serious crime not because it's physically horrible (though it can be), but because the mental issues it evokes.  Rape isn't about sex, it's about power.  About self-determination and control.  About imposing your will on another.  And when someone takes that power from you, especially if it occurs at a young age, the results are both far-reaching and horrific.

 

Rape is something whose consequences stretch across your entire life.  You don't 'get over it' -- ever.  You learn to cope with the results, to deal with them, but in the end they're still there.  And they can bite you in the ass when you least expect it.  It can be compared to addiction, where the addict can learn to cope with his addiction, can learn to control it, but one wrong step can bring the entire house of cards back down upon their head.  (And unfortunately, that wrong step is guaranteed to happen one day; once an addict, always an addict)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Rilber , I still think Josh and Ben will connect .

The way this chapter ended , makes me think being true to himself , will let him be the gay boy he is .

Could that be all the forgiveness he needs .

I just like the guys to enjoy being themselves .

dael

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